In 2011 I “ran” the Foster Swift Half Marathon in Grand Rapids. Ran is in quotes, I should say “completed”. I walked. A lot. It was grueling. It was a flop of the race, and my pace was 13:40 minute miles.
It was my second race and first half marathon. I had been pretty well prepared, I had run several 10 milers and a single 13 mile run in preparation, so for all intents and purposes it should have been a decent race. However, the odds had stacked against me. My son, Benjamin, who was fighting leukemia at the time, had shared a stomach bug with me that gave me the “out both ends” on 3 different days that week. My husband had been out of town, and while sick I was caring for my son who was also sick. So I started the race exhausted and dehydrated. I had to take Immodium to ensure that I wouldn’t have an accident. Add to that a stumble in a pothole early in the race and the mental strain of running in a crowd when I normally ran solo and the race was a nightmare. I finished, but it was ugly.
As part of the preparation for the Fifth Third River Bank Run, the Road Warriors are also participating in a few other races. One of the races the ladies will be running is the Gazelle Girl Half Marathon, on April 19. Obviously, this is super exciting, yet I have been terrified. I think I’ve had half marathon block. I’ve felt like the distance was doomed, and worse, that my racing career was doomed.
These preparatory races have done quite a bit to boost my racing confidence. The team has been built up during these races, and we have supported each other unconditionally. I don’t consider myself a sentimental person, (when one has fought Guillain Barre Syndrome and had a child fighting cancer, there’s not a whole lot of room in a day for unnecessary tears) but the support of my team could move me to tears.
Recently the Gazelle Girl Half Marathon had a meet up in which participants could do a preview run and complete the full Gazelle Girl course. It was with enormous gratitude that I opted to participate in this opportunity to run the course before the race.
I was able to complete the course in just over 11 minute miles, without any mishaps. While I had underdressed for the cold morning and bitter wind, that was the only downfall of the day, which, all things considered, was fairly simple to overcome. I had been plagued by self-doubt in the moments and days before the run. My mind reviewing worst case scenarios like a series of vines on youtube.
It wasn’t until I was walking back to my car that I allowed myself to believe that I’ve got this.
I’ve got this. I’m not a doomed racer, the half marathon isn’t a doomed distance for me. This pre-race run gave me the lift I need to put my running into high gear in the home stretch of this Road Warrior gig. I am enough. I am strong. I am capable. I will crush this thing!
Alethea Mshar, Road Warrior 